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 Anger Management 
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Beerburrum Freak
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Joined: Thu 09 Jul, 2009 5:17 pm
Posts: 6436
Post Anger Management
found this posted else wear not a bad idea evil6

When you occasionally have a really bad day, And you just need to take it out on someone,
Don't take it out on someone you know,
Take it out on someone you don't know,
But you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered
A phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying

I politely said,
'This is Chris.
Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
'Get the right f***ing number!'
And the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number
To call her,
I found that I had accidentally transposed
The last two digits.

After hanging up with her,
I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
'You're an ......!'
And hung up.

I wrote his number down
With the word '......' next to it,
And put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks,
When I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell,
'You're an ......!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced,
I thought my therapeutic '......'
Calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said,
'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our
Caller ID Program?'

He yelled
And slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said,
'That's because you're an ......!'
And hung up.

One day I was at the store,
Getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW
Cut me off and pulled into the spot
I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled
That I'd been waiting for that spot,
But the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,
So I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later,
Right after calling the first ......
(I had his number on speed dial)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW ......, too.

I said,
'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said,
'Yes, it is.'

I then asked,
'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said,
'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. , in Fairfax
It's a yellow ranch style house
And the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked,
'What's your name?'

He said,
'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked,
'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said,
'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said,
'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said,

I said,
'Don, you're an ......!'

Then I hung up,
And added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem,
I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called ...... #1.

He said,

I said,
'You're an ......!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked,
'Are you still there?'

I said,

He screamed,
'Stop calling me'

I said,
'Make me.'

He asked,
'Who are you?'

I said,
'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said,
'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said,
'......, I live at 34 oak tree Blvd., in Fairfax ,
A yellow ranch style home and
I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said,
'I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said,
'Yeah, like I'm really scared, ......,'
And hung up.

Then I called ...... #2.

He said,

I said,
'Hello, ......,'

He yelled,
'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said,
'You'll what?'

He exclaimed,
'I'll kick your ......'

I answered,
'Well, ......, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I was on my way over to 34 oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax , to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News
about the gang war going down in oak tree Blvd in Fairfax ...
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two assholes
beating the crap out of each other
in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter
and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.

03 KDX200 OHHH YERRR 2014 KTM 500 S##T YERR
That's Mr Cranky Pants to you
Poke me i dare you.

Wed 21 Dec, 2011 7:26 pm
Pro Dude
Pro Dude

Joined: Sat 11 Jul, 2009 4:20 pm
Posts: 9855
Location: Chapel Hill The Good Side
Post Re: Anger Management
OMG thats a bloody Classic

You can take my life , But u can't take my Freedom eh

Wed 21 Dec, 2011 7:49 pm
Post Re: Anger Management
I need a "....." entry in my phone book!

Thanks for that.
Vanessa (hi-jacking Steve's log-on)

Wed 21 Dec, 2011 7:56 pm
aka Sprocket
User avatar

Joined: Mon 13 Jul, 2009 6:47 pm
Posts: 2518
Post Re: Anger Management
Thats a classic icon_thumright :headbang


Wed 21 Dec, 2011 8:33 pm

Joined: Sun 24 Jun, 2012 9:16 pm
Posts: 23
Post Re: Anger Management
haha that is a good one! hello2

Wed 27 Jun, 2012 10:04 pm

Joined: Mon 14 Sep, 2009 4:14 pm
Posts: 356
Location: Oxley
Post Re: Anger Management
clever shit...

Wed 27 Jun, 2012 11:06 pm
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Joined: Sun 27 Feb, 2011 6:41 pm
Posts: 482
Location: Toowoomba
Post Re: Anger Management
Made my day Hahah

Former: XR250r, DRZ400e
Currently on a trail riding hiatus

Thu 28 Jun, 2012 5:10 pm
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